It’s All About How You Handle It

Okay, so many of you who read this have noticed I've written a lot about the severe side of disability. The labels, the misunderstandings, and even the medical jargon but to this point, I haven't written about the humorous side of disability. This will be a little bit more of a personal share for me, but it is important. You know that I can't drive all that well for those who know me exceptionally well. To put it kindly, I am no champion race car driver. For those of you are not aware of my ineptitude of driving my form of legs. Let me explain...

I am a 26-year-old lab. Wheelchair, but this does not mean I act like it. I treat my wheelchair like a dirt bike.  I go out to the bars and even ride my wheelchair down the street in the dark, which gives my mom a heart attack. One of these times occurred approximately four years ago. I was conducting personal business at the bank when I had another of what I would call a "Jay moment." I had taken the local public transportation to the bank and was on my way out when CP struck. Dang, CP! Just kidding. I say God was having an off day, and he needed something to laugh at. My right front wheel got caught on the stairs' lip at the bank, and I proceeded to tumble headfirst down to the bottom. Those of you who haven't tried stair diving are pretty fun until you hit bottom because you remember that gravity is not your friend. I am sure those who skateboard or snowboard can relate after having missed time to jump. When they took a fall down a flight of stairs, an average person would be nonplussed, but that was not my reaction. While everyone else around me was concerned about my physical health, I laughed at my stupid driving skills. Those of you who are reading this may wonder, how bad can a fall have been? I mean, you probably hurt your head and face, but really how bad could it have been? Well, let me answer that question.

I was taken by ambulance to the local hospital, but I left one important thing behind. The scene was so bad that they had to leave my chair there and tape it up like a crime scene because blood was everywhere. My dad's exact scene words were, "There's crime scene tape. What the hell?" But here comes the true Jayism as they were fixing my nose and dry material from it. I made the following comment to the Nurse, "Lady, I've been waiting for 21 years for somebody to pick my nose. I'm enjoying it." This story is only the tip of the iceberg. The next two stories will indicate that disabled people aren't that different from non-disabled people. It is all perception.  

I could sit on a swing in another famous Jay moment, not remembering that my equilibrium is not the greatest. My balance, therefore, suffered immensely. Shortly after I got on the swing, I got off it again, but not in the way I was supposed to. My dad stepped away for a second and went to answer a phone call. The next thing I know, I was looking up at the sky. This last story is not so humorous, but it demonstrates a critical point.

Sometimes when you are in a wheelchair, you are so dependent on other people that most of your needs have to be taken care of by someone else. This is the case with me. Unfortunately, this is even the case with such basic needs as going to the bathroom. Those who know me near might ask why I'm about to tell this story, but as the title says, it's all about how you handle it. There have been many times where I have been without help, and I'm human, so eventually, I need to use the restroom. However, when you do not have anyone around, you are not left with many options. Unfortunately, one of these times occurred while I was in class. To this point, I have been able to deal with my issues in a discreet way, but I was in a theory class in my sophomore year when an accident occurred. I had been adept at not hiding it but dealing with it if this situation happened in a public environment before. However, it had never happened in an academic one, and as we know, youth can be judgmental. It was no different on this day. Unfortunately for me, someone noticed and said, "Oh, look at that disabled person. He pissed himself." I did not handle the situation as I am going to advocate when I do this blog. I became embarrassed and left the classroom. I became very depressed, which is a natural human reaction, but as I have learned with my driving mishaps and this personal mishap and others, sometimes life's road is bumpy. 

I don't have all the answers, but I know that disabled people out there feel sorry for themselves because they are disabled. The only reason I bring this up is that I was once like you, but the reason I've told these personal stories is for one purpose. It shows that there are bumps in the road, and not everything can be accounted for, and there are days where we are all going to be depressed or bummed about a certain aspect of their lives. This is whether or not we are physically disabled. The hard part when one is physically disabled is hiding our depression or embarrassment. The one key that I have found is to use humor. Now, at the time, the accident situation was not humorous, but looking back on it now I just see it as another moment in Jay's life. I am not expecting anyone to agree with me entirely, but if disabled people began to see the mishaps that occur in their lives as just a part of life, maybe the able-bodied community will not feel so sorry for us when they occur. As I said earlier in a post, one has to roll with the punches and can't dwell on the negative. It's all about how you deal with what life has dealt you. It is not about wishing that life would deal with you something different.