Hello again everyone. I hope everyone enjoyed yesterday’s blog on adaptive cooking and cookware. As my fellowship is coming to the end of the contract for my first year tomorrow, I felt it would be appropriate to give a nod to not only Florida SAND but my colleagues and the staff who trained us throughout this past year to thank them for helping my passion for advocacy grow.
I came into this fellowship at a weird time in my life. Before the fellowship, I had worked for Florida SAND as a per diem writer for their blog FSA Central. While this work kept the flame for disability advocacy alive and on life support, when I was presented with the opportunity to be a fellow, I immediately jumped at it. Thank you to Kelli Munn for the opportunity. I would not be where I am today without your faith in me. However, my fellowship wasn’t as smooth of a journey as I had hoped.
About a month into the fellowship, I began to take it for granted. I had an ego bigger than the state of Florida and I thought that I knew everything there was to know about self-advocacy; boy was I wrong! I quickly learned that there was more to this fellowship than just writing articles about people with disabilities. Thanks to the fellowship I would develop event planning skills and meet my best friend, although I did not know it at the time. We spent the first few months of the fellowship planning a conference where we would teach a concept that I have spoken about before on this blog, “The Route To Self Determination”. At the time I did not realize how this conference would change my life forever. Along with my colleagues, Laura Lee-Minutello and Samantha Lebron we had to give a full-day presentation on the concepts of Route. It was both an eye-opening experience as well as a learning opportunity and as I’ve said before, it was where I dared to hit Samantha with the following cheesy line that would change my life forever.
Hey, “would you be my scribe for the weekend?”. I don’t know why the hell she said yes but she did. I will not go into further detail about how we have built a relationship in this blog as it is not relevant to my main point. After that weekend I started to see that my passion for disability advocacy was not as strong as others were. Over the next six or seven months it would decline and eventually, in an unforeseen way, it would reach an all-time low. The fellowship quickly became something I took for granted.
I was given so many opportunities to better the lives of other self-advocates but unfortunately, I did not take advantage of them. Granted, I spent some time dealing with health issues but I did not use my hospital stay to re-energize, instead, I would use it in a negative way and sadly become complacent. However, that all changed a few weeks ago.
About four months ago we started planning this year’s conference where we would give a condensed version of the presentation we had given the year before. I tried to use this to remotivate myself but it wasn’t until I attended the conference and heard its keynote speaker Matthew Walzer that my attitude changed in a positive direction. Without retelling Matthew’s story, as I have mentioned in previous blogs, I will say that his speech changed my life and my overall outlook on not only my fellowship but my life in general.
I now understand how things happen for a reason but at the same time, we cannot use negative events in our lives as excuses or crutches to explain away our laziness or lack of effort. Thanks to the fellowship and the speech I heard at the second conference, it became a part of my advocacy work and my enthusiasm has intensified one thousand percent. I now post on The Voiceless Minority anywhere from four to five times a week. This is significant because excluding the first two years in which I started the blog, I only posted on it sporadically.
As a final thought, just because you start to feel overwhelmed or negative about a particular job or situation you are in, remember that you are the only one who can change the way you feel. Recently I wrote a blog on how attitude is altitude, and it is this principle that is most appropriate to end this blog. In other words, just because there was a period in time where I had negative feelings toward the program, this does not mean that I could not have chosen to deal with them positively. Negativity is only a feeling; it is only as powerful as we allow it to be. Instead of letting the quality of my work show how I was feeling at the time, I believe God was testing me and unfortunately, I did not pass his test. But you learn from your mistakes and learned I have.
Whatever you are facing, there is always a way to put a positive spin on it so that you come out of a situation better than before you encountered it. This writer’s humble opinion. Until tomorrow, stay strong.
Jay
