One Self-Advocate’s Journey To Redefine the Shoe Industry for People With Disabilities Reinforces a Point That My Dad Has Been Preaching for Years

In Tuesday’s blog post, I talked about a speech I heard this past weekend from a young man by the name of Matthew Walzer. His speech came at a perfect time in my life. As I said in the blog Tuesday, until this past weekend I had been lost and in a sort of never-ending fog. Since Matthew’s story impacted me so much, I thought I would share it and its similarity to a point my dad has been trying to get both me and my sister to appreciate for years. By the end of this piece, you will not only understand the great wisdom of my dad but also you will hopefully appreciate the tenacity Matthew showed in his effort to redefine sneakers for people with disabilities. In short, by the end of this piece, you will understand why I believe in the saying, “Attitude is altitude”. 

Every good story must start with a problem that the protagonist must face. Only this time, Matthew Walzer wasn’t writing fiction. Matthew was born with Cerebral Palsy. While some with Cerebral Palsy are wheelchair bound like myself, Matthew can mostly dress himself. The only problem is up until he decided to change it at the age of 16, he had a problem tying his shoes. Matthew would have to ask his parents to help finish dressing him. Matthew was not satisfied with this. He had dreams of going to college but was worried about being embarrassed, and who wouldn’t be embarrassed, by having their parents tie their shoes in college. What was Matthew to do? 

Being proactive and a forward-thinking individual, Matthew wrote a letter to one of the largest shoemakers in the world. He wrote to Nike explaining his dilemma and after years of development, Nike would come out with a slip-on sneaker which they called FlyEase. Matthew may not have been aware of how his letter would change not only his life but the disability community as a whole, however, his impact is much more than just a shoe. Matthew displays a drive and tenacity that most people wish they had. 

When I heard Matthew tell his story this past weekend at the Florida SAND conference, I was immediately struck by two things. The first thought was holy shit this kid has balls. The second thought was I used to be like that. What the hell happened to that Jason? I used to live by the saying “Fear nothing, Regret less” but compared to Matthew I was falling short. As I said in Tuesday’s blog, Matthew has inspired me to change that, but he has also done what my dad has tried to do for what seems like a lifetime. 

Many years ago my dad told me to not let my disability hold me back from doing anything. At the time, he did not use the phrase attitude is altitude but clearly, that is what he meant. Matthew and my dad are both wise beyond their years. They both understand that our lives are ours to live. They only will be as good or as bad as we let them be. I know I am posting this on a blog related to disability, but Matthew’s point goes far beyond having a disability. Yes, he was born with a disability but besides the fact that he uses crutches to get around you wouldn’t know it. 

The attitude that Matthew and my dad and for the most part, I have, is not very common anymore. But given the state of the world in some people’s opinion, that might make sense. I argue that the negativity and pessimism that we see in a large part of society today regardless of disability, race, gender, or economic status, only produces negative outcomes. If we as a society think negatively, we will not be satisfied with how things turn out. 

In closing, perhaps the epidemic of depression and suicide as well as a feeling of not having a social identity can be simply attributed to the way one looks at life. But I could be wrong. After all, I’m just a 37-year-old Quad who has Cerebral Palsy. However, I believe that what I lack in the physical department, I make up for in common sense. Anyway, just food for thought.

Jay

Come on America: Those In Glass Houses Should Not Throw Stones

So I didn't write a lot in 2014 yet, but I promise that will change. This posting will be my 40^th blog. It is amazing what this blog has grown into a little over nine months.

            Nine months ago, I was angry and bitter and didn't know how to deal with it. They say life has a funny way of working out. I can't say that I would say that in nine months, I found my voice or at least the beginnings of it. As this blog says, I have learned a few things over the past little bit. I've written about comedy, I've written about political issues, and I've written about disability stereotypes; however, this blog will be a little different.

            Maybe it's because of how I was raised, but I have developed a spirit of a fighter that is both a good thing and a bad thing. As I sit down to write this post, in fact, I still remember the latest fight I had with my parents about being self-reliant. Without boring you with the gritty details, let's say we disagreed on how self-sufficient I should be at this point in my life.  My fight with my parents had nothing to do with a disability, at least on the surface; however, it got me thinking about a disability community problem.

            I've read a lot lately since graduating from my master's program in early December of 2013. I don't know whether it was intentional or not, but many titles have been related to making one's destiny. The last book I finished, I am Malala, was a highly publicized book about a girl shot by the Taliban in Pakistan to speak up for girls' educational rights. That book not only blended history and culture, but it struck me on a personal level. The circumstances Malala had to overcome put her in extreme danger every day. Regardless of that danger, she still stood up for what she wanted.  She knew no one else was going to give it to her unless she proves herself.

Similarly, A Bold Piece of Humanity, by Bill O'Reilly, discussed the controversial commentator's belief system and how he had come to reach those beliefs. While some of Mr. O’Reilly's political views may not sit well with some, the striking thing about this book was that like Malala; he did not rely on anyone to hand him success. No, he just took it.

            What does this all have to do with disability, one might ask? Well, it is simple. I've noticed lately, and I include myself in this generalization as well, that most people with disabilities let external forces control their lives. Often they feel trapped by circumstance, so we do not complain when our aide care is sub-par or something doesn't get done in a typical fashion because we are disabled. No, we accept it as our reality. Well, the above two books, along with something my father has been trying to tell me for forever, have finally sunk in.  Hard work isn't easy. I will use a parable from a well-known book for those of you who need it put simpler. Whether or not you believe it that Jesus of Nazareth is God as I do, the Bible does have one exciting thing that everyone can live by. Give a man a fish, feed him for a day, teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime. This is not a wealth criticism or even a social criticism; instead, in this case, it is a disability criticism.

            I am criticizing those like myself in the disability community who often let their circumstances define their lives.  Yes, our lives may be challenging, but our obstacles are no different than anyone else's. We are no other than a single mom of four that I know who busts her ass every day and sometimes goes without to help me and make her kid's lives better. We are also no different from a 49-year-old man who goes to work every day and doesn't smoke a day in his life but ends up getting cancer at 50. He still must get up, go to chemo, and move on with his life. We are no different from my Dad, who was perfectly healthy a year ago and is now fighting every day to keep his spirits up and keep moving towards his retirement dream. I know that was long-winded, but I do have a point.

            Disabled people think that because we rely on other people so much, whether we have a physical or mental disability, we are not in control of our lives. I'm here to tell you that our lives are what we make them, no one else.

If we do not have much physical control, then we can demand high expectations of those who do have biological control over our lives. Disability is not a limit, just a challenge. Quit letting it limit you and start challenging it. Your experiences will be better in the short term, and the world will be better in the long run.