The Protection Complex

What does it mean to teach? In simple basic terms, according to the dictionary, it is a verb. It means to impart knowledge of or skill in; give instruction in, and impart knowledge or skill to; instruct to. We all understand the basic definition of teaching. The question is, how do we define teachable moments or teachers themselves?

I recently graduated with a Master's in education. Still, my institution told me that I could not get a teacher's certification, according to Pennsylvania, because I was too disabled to teach. At first, this statement, to put it nicely, perplexed me. What did it mean I was also disabled to teach? How could they judge me without allowing me to try? As time has gone by, I have begun to understand their position. I disagree with it, but I understand it now.

They look at disabled people in a traditional box. Due to my physical limitations, they could not look past my lack of physical capability and see the great deal of knowledge that I can pass on to others. They were afraid to go to bat for someone so different, even if they had great knowledge to pass on. I've also changed my perception of what a teacher is in general. Yes, a great deal of teaching occurs in the classroom, and eventually, that is something I want to do. However, I have learned that disabled teachers can exist, and often they have greater mobility than traditional teachers.

Until society and those in higher education stop putting disabled people in a box, we need to take ourselves out of that box. For the time being, we might not b able to be traditional classroom teachers, but every disabled person has a story to tell and lessons they can teach those around them. Often the most powerful learning occurs outside the classroom, not in it.  Disabled people in general and society need to expand their definitions of a school and realize that there are teachable moments every day in life. You can teach your aides, and they can teach you. You can lead a stranger on the street and change their life forever. To do so, there are a few necessary components, none of which involve the traditional four walls of a schoolhouse.

To be an effective teacher with a disability, one needs first to understand themselves and their limitations. Second, they need to view events in their lives as having a purpose, even the small and bad ones. Third, they need to find their outlet. Mine happens to be writing at this point; others might find their outlet in other ways. However, one finds their outlet; it is essential to develop it. Finally, for disabled people to be effective teachers, we need to not give in to what society says it has mandated for us. If we develop our voice and tell our story and it touches one person, we have been influential teachers.

Traditional classroom teachers and teachers who teach online are often knowledgeable about content. With the way teaching is now, they have minimal opportunity to bring their experience into the classroom. It is those teachers that do so that turn into great teaches. Disabled people have a leg up on the second crucial teaching element that great classroom teachers excel at. While some of us, hopefully, myself included, will eventually be a classroom teacher, disabled people must look for unique teaching opportunities until society realizes that we can be teachers in the traditional sense just like everyone else. These traditional opportunities may include writing a blog like this one, teaching a class online, or just having a conversation with someone who asks a question about disability. Whichever way you choose to be a teacher, it is clear that we need more disabled teachers in this world because there is so much we learn daily from one another. Why not be a part of that conversation if you have a disability?

Lets Get Intimate

CONTENT WARNING! READER DISCRETION STRONGLY ADVISED.

So something is bugging me. I’ve been watching a lot of political television lately, and a lot of the conversation has been about how my generation does not know how to communicate because of their reliance on technology. This is an interesting topic, but it also got me thinking about other issues and the way my generation views them.

As someone in his late twenties, I find myself every once in awhile craving stability and a family. I feel this is a natural thought process for anybody who is on the other side of 25. The only difference with me is that I am disabled. Disability and intimacy don’t usually go together. Perhaps that is why I feel the need to write this blog.

I’ve written a lot about funny stuff, serious stuff, but never an issue that affects me so deeply. What I am about to say may come off as controversial or different, so if you choose not to read further I understand. Understand however that if you do read further, you are going to hear some things you are not used to.

In other blogs, I have written that disability is seen as strange because it is different. The relationship arena and specifically the sexual arena are no different for people with disabilities. Most people have a preconceived notion of what beauty is. Most often it is someone skinny, fit, athletic, very rarely do people with disabilities come into the attractive conversation. When people with disabilities present themselves as dressed to the nines, people don’t take it, as they should. They are taken aback that “these people” even care about their appearance. However physical appearance is not the only problem that disabled people face in the relationship and sexual arena. Some disabled people yes indeed cannot help their appearance because of certain deformities, so they are already at a disadvantage. These deformities aside, there are much more fundamental barriers that disabled people face in these two areas. 

Before I go into these issues and my opinions on them, please watch the following video on disability uncensored. It is a great documentary that is about fifteen minutes long. It will better provide a background for the rest of this blog. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qA020ShNQr8

Although the documentary has a more cavalier attitude about sex than I do, it brings up a good point. Disabled people, myself included are often seen as not having intimate feelings and desires. I cannot count the number of times that I have been out with somebody on an actual date and I get one of the following reactions from people. They ask either, “are you two related?” or “is she working for you?” In the documentary I cited, an interesting point is brought up. When people desexualize people with disabilities it is almost yet another way to treat us as second-class citizens. I am not saying that I go out and sleep with anybody, but I have desires just like anybody else.

There is an even greater problem though, and people with disabilities themselves often perpetuate the problem. If by chance someone with a severe disability happens to find someone who would consider dating him or her, it often never happens. Why is this? I’m only 27 and have not lived life all the way through yet, however with what I have seen I have come to this conclusion. It often never happens because of a fundamental belief on the part of both parties that the boyfriend or girlfriend would have to take care of the disabled person. Who wants that? Nobody wants to be a caregiver; they want a partner, someone they can confide in and lean on, and someone who can care for them. Disabled people are not often seen as being capable of doing this because they are seen as helpless.  We are not. We are capable of many things, but we shoot ourselves in the foot more often than not.

As I said in my the last blog, disabled people set the bar so low for themselves that they allow themselves to be viewed as helpless. Sometimes they even believe this themselves. As this blog has tried to advocate in the past, we are only as helpless as we make ourselves. This holds true in the sexual and relationship arena as well. If we go into it believing that we're going to have a caregiver who also feels for us in an intimate way, we are setting ourselves up for failure. Able-bodied people need to realize something as well. A relationship is not all about the physical. It is about communication. To be blunt intimacy is not often always about penis and vagina intercourse but can be as simple as human touch or as complex as lovemaking. It is all dependent on the couple. One thing that has to change is the lack of communication in relationships, and this I fear is why disabled people have such a hard time nowadays.

Now a day everything is about instant gratification. You cant go five minutes without seeing someone on their phone or updating their Facebook status. For a successful relationship we need to get back to the basics of love. No maybe we don’t need to go to Texas, but we need to get back to the basics of human interaction. Most importantly however, we need to stop selling relationships as a one size fits all thing. People need to understand that judging someone based on their obstacles only causes you to lose out on something great. 

Mental Health and Disability Part Two: Where Society Needs to Catch Up

Late last year, I brought up an issue that was not discussed very much in the disability community, disability and mental health. As I thought about this blog, I remembered a recent email that I got, and it inspired me to revisit the issue. In the email was a story about how colleges are flunking mental health treatment.

            The article described a young boy, Dan, who had mental health issues and made a wrong choice one night in an attempt to overdose. To summarize, he did not overdose. He was having trouble dealing with a new medication, and once his medicine was adjusted, he was fine. However, his college did not treat him appropriately.

            His health center referred him to a hospital, which they should have done, but the administration's actions were incorrect.  Instead of recognizing a student in trouble, they treated Dan as if he was a criminal.

            My previous blog on mental health dealt with how society doesn't view depression correctly. This latest article in News Week confirms what I had written. Depression is still such a stigma that it is almost a dirty word even in higher education. What does this have to do with disability? It has everything to do with it. Depression and disability in general in our society is seen as something dirty. When it is said that someone is depressed or disabled, they are seen as unclean or unworthy. It is a shame that places of higher education are perpetuating this stereotype. I can speak from personal experience when I say that even higher education places view depression as a dirty word. Not only did they kick Dan out of his school involuntarily, but also they did a similar thing to me.

            It is said that the American land of immigrants is so afraid of difference. We will not be able to progress as a society if we do not understand that differences are fundamental to the growth, and not everyone is given the same skillset. Some of us must deal with obstacles that sometimes overwhelm us. We should not criminalize those who have depression or other mental health afflictions; instead, we should strive to ease their pain.

This will not happen if we do not admit that depression is not necessarily a bad thing. Depression, instead in most cases, is our body's' way of telling us to reexamine what is going on around us. I know most of society doesn't view depression the way I do, but regardless of whether you agree with me or not, you have to agree that society needs to be more accepting of mental health issues. If places of higher education are so educated, why can't they lead mental illness acceptance? The answer is simple.

Places of higher education are scared of mental illness for the same reason society is scared of mental illness. They are afraid that if we embrace mental illness for what it is, it is an admission that the human consciousness is not as self-reliant as society thinks it is. We need to accept that it is a part of the human condition to ask for help. It is a part of our condition to be reliant on others. Keeping up with the Jones's individualist type mentality that we currently live in, it is taboo to admit that you go against the grain and do not subscribe to the emotionalist culture we live in.

Colleges could be on the front lines of helping those who are depressed, but instead, they sit at the back of the class. It is time for a societal-wide change in disability and depression, and change can happen if it starts now. 

The Hero Complex

            Being a new disability advocate, I find myself continually plugged into various publications. One publication I get news from is the American Association of People with Disabilities. Every week they put out a handy newsletter entitled Disability Weekly.

In a recent issue in a segment called In the News, they had a story about a mom who wrote a somewhat controversial piece. Her piece was entitled My Child with a Disability is not My Hero. As the title suggests, Miss Sarah Sweatt Orsborn asserts that disabled people but disabled children are not heroes. At first glance, even I, the non-politically correct writer, that I was taken aback. However, after looking further into Miss Orsborn's premise, I have to say I agree with her.

The premise of the article is quite simple. Orsborn suggests that the term can be more harmful than positive.  From my perspective, as a disabled person, I cannot help but agree. Every time I hear  "Oh, you're so amazing," or something of the like, I cringe. This occurs even when I listen to it from my own family. How can I be fantastic for doing such everyday tasks such as getting up in the morning and going to school? Every time someone comments on these lines, I feel like it diminishes me as a person.

I am not saying that complimenting someone for his or her accomplishments is a negative thing. I am realistic and understand that we all have egos that need a little inflating now and then. The point that Miss Orsborn and I are trying to make is that complementing somebody is fine but merely complimenting them because of the obstacles they face diminishes their self-worth and the work they have accomplished. Let me put it another way; it is like saying that we did not expect you to set the bar so high for yourself because you have this infliction. That not only causes a problem individually, but it results in a group problem.

What is that group problem? Disabled people as a whole have always expected less of themselves because society, in general, expects less of them. If we begin this second-class citizen in the doctor nation at an early age, it is no wonder disabled people set the bar so low for them.  I am a 27-year-old person with cerebral palsy who just graduated with my master's in education. However, I did not graduate with teacher certification, even though I had a 4.0 cumulative grade point average in the program. So why am I not a certified teacher, one may ask?

Simply put, I listened to society when they set the bar so low for me. Some at my school thought it was so amazing that I was getting my masters, but they saw me as too disabled to teach in a classroom. Even though it was not said directly, this was an example of the hero complex. It's so amazing that I got so far; they did not expect me to go any further and were unwilling to invest in me to help me do so. I should have done not settle for such low standards, but I did, and I have learned from it. It has helped me develop my voice as a disability advocate. It has also taught me that as good intentioned as parents are, or even family members are when they say to a disabled child, look how much you have accomplished with what you have had to go through, this has to stop.

Based on their accomplishment, judge their achievement, don't put a star beside it with a little footnote that said he or she had a disability too. Changes in culture and society do not start in Washington in the political arena. They begin with everyday people. If disabled people and those who support them want to change the way disability is perceived in this country, we have to start with ourselves. It is time that disabled people's expectations are just as high as everyone else's because we may have visible or not visible obstacles, but that doesn't make us any more or less of a person.