Your friendly neighborhood super advocate is back! This time I have a question. Have we reached a point where it is okay to tell a “casual lie” rather than the truth?
You may ask what made you pose the above question. The answer is sad but simple. During a recent follow-up appointment with my pain management doctor, I began talking to his nurse. I have been to the office several times in the last few months because my pain pump needed to be replaced. On this particular occasion, I found it easy to talk with the attending nurse for that day. For privacy purposes, I will not give her name here.
Throughout my appointment, we chatted easily. She asked me general questions about my education and other topics, and I did the same. As the appointment progressed, it eventually came out that I was a disability blogger. I told her about this blog and mentioned that we had a Facebook page. She seemed genuinely interested, so I invited her to like the page and add me on Facebook. Truth be told, I was not expecting her to do so, however, she immediately responded with the following “Sure I will add you. My name is (blank).” She then preceded to give me her name. After doing so, she said, “Now I post some crazy Crap, so don’t be offended.” I chuckled because I also post crazy stuff as well. The appointment concluded and I went home.
Later that evening, I was on Facebook checking my various accounts and I decided to look her up. While there are numerous accounts with the name she gave me, after looking for quite a while I was unable to find her. Although I expected this from the beginning, the casual way that she
blew me off with what I am sure she thought was a harmless lie got me thinking.
In America today we have become a culture that is dominated by the casual lie. We no longer dare to be honest. If the young lady had no intention of adding me on social media, I would’ve been okay with that. All she would’ve had to do was say “something to the effect of” I would love to, but it is against office policy”. Instead, to not hurt my feelings she came across as patronizing.
I believe this not only highlights a societal issue that needs to be addressed, but on a deeper level, it brings up the issue of how people view individuals with disabilities. For the longest time the general population has seen those with disabilities as fragile. Several years ago, I wrote a blog entitled” The Protection Complex.” That blog addressed a similar issue that is still relevant today. I believe society views us as fragile because they do not see us as equals whether it’s an individual’s family unit, boss, or during social interactions. People with disabilities are often coddled and are not forced to face the realities of life. You may think I’m reaching, but I believe this young lady blew me off because she thought one of two things. That I was just hitting on her like everyone else does, or, as I believe, she probably saw me as fragile and felt that I couldn’t take the truth.
Why has the truth become such a toxic thing in America today and especially with people with disabilities? I think the answer is quite simple. Oftentimes, the truth is raw and may hurt, however, if we continue ignoring the truth, we will become a softer and more anxious society. As a final thought, it may be good to try and soften the blow once in a while but by doing so we may do more harm than good.
Anyway, let me step/roll off my soap box for the evening. Hope you guys have enjoyed the read. I look forward to a vibrant discussion about any or all of the issues I brought up in this post.
Until Next Time,
Your Friendly Neighborhood Super Advocate,
Jay
