Come On, You Know That Was Funny, Quit Being P.C.

So I've talked about some serious topics, but I've always thrown humor in on some level or another. Well, this one is going to be about the importance of humor and disabilities. To begin, let me get scholarly on you guys. What is "humor"? Humor has many different definitions, and it can be either

1. a comic, absurd, or incongruous quality, causing amusement: the humor of a situation.

2. the faculty of perceiving what is amusing or comical: He is complete without humor.
       These were found at Dictionary.com. There are many different types of humor to each person; other things can be funny. Some who fall on their face might be hilarious to me but might not be all that funny to someone else. What does humor have to do with disability? Everything. If one can't laugh at their obstacles, then they will be that much harder to overcome. I can't tell you how many times a day I make gimp jokes or lobster jokes. I call myself a lobster because my hands look literally like claws because they are so badly deformed.  Most people who know me have gotten used to it. However, even in my own family, there are times when they are caught off guard by my humor.

       Disabled people make fun of themselves quite often. What is rarer is the kind-hearted friend or family member who makes fun of the disabled person. An incident like this occurred recently during a family event. Rather than seeing me as an oddity, my six-year-old cousin decided to make up a lobster dance. In my view, it was hilarious! Everybody around the table thought it was for at least five seconds, but they quickly got offended. My question is, why were they getting offended for me when I was not? It's not like the child was malicious. He was trying to include me as an individual. He did not see me as something different. He just saw me as a funny dude. We all make fun of each other, but why do others have to get offended for them when people are making fun of each other? Another example of this societal offense can be found on the Internet.

       A hilarious comic named Stephen Lynch does a variety of songs where he makes fun of everything from the devil, too fat women, to people who play dungeons and dragons, and one-piece, in particular, is his most famous song. It is known as "Special Olympics." I am disabled and find it freaking hilarious! Because I know that Mr. Lynch is satirical and joking. He is not malicious in any form whatsoever. Some find it offensive, and I say to them, "You have a right to your opinion, and I have a right to mine. I'm glad you watched the video, and I'm glad you are expressing your opinion." What I don't understand is that a majority of disabled people love the video. This is the demographics that are being poked fun at in the video. If we love it, why is it that society gets offended for us? The following is a comment that I posted on the YouTube video, along with a few replies that I received. To protect anonymity, the names of the posters have been either changed or not given.

       My original comment for the video: "‪Jay Hahr ‪‪20 hours ago

I know that's entirely true. I find humor is the easiest thing for me to have, but people are often thrown off because I make fun of myself. I always say to them, "Dude, I make fun of myself because you can't make fun of other people if you can't make fun of yourself," and I love making fun of people. I know it's a YouTube video, but I might also mention it here. My blog on disabilities is thevoicelssminority.blogspot.c­om Check it out. I think you will enjoy it."

       The poster responded with: "It's funny I'm disabled as well, and it seems that everyone around me hears my friends joke about me being in a wheelchair and act offended, but I don't. I have noticed that it's non-disabled people who get offended about it and not the disabled people."

       He emphasizes my point. It is always the able-bodied population that seems to get offended for me. I would instead people ask me if I was offended then assume I was offended. I know my family meant well when they told the little child, but I feel like they could have handled it better. Some of them who read this might not understand why I think the way I do, but it's mainly because humor is a dying art in our society. Soon we are going to be too sensitive for anything.  Comedy is what keeps us from going crazy and shooting people in post offices. If they thought that the six-year-old was doing something wrong, they could have said, "Now, you can joke around like that with Jay, but with other people, you have to be more careful." Just some food for thought.

       I only bring this up now because I have recently shown the YouTube video to others, and some have laughed hysterically with me while others said, "How can you be an advocate while also laughing at that?" My answer is simple because I'M HUMAN. If we do not find hilarity in our misfortune, then we will only find misery. Misery is boring. If this offends people, then so be it, but I would rather laugh at my misfortunes then cry about them.

 

Supposed Hero: Not Really, I’m Just Rolling with the Punches--Literally Rolling

So this blog will have no footnotes, no scholarly research. It comes about as a result of the conversation I had today. While enjoying the sunny weather, let me first say that even in Edinboro, Pennsylvania, sunny days are rare in the summer. It is nearly the latter half of May, and we just had snow a couple of weeks ago. So when it is sunny out, I must take the opportunity to enjoy the weather. I was doing so earlier today when a not very unique occurrence happened. 

I met this gentleman named Dan. He was fishing for bluegill in a very muddy Edinboro lake. He was overall a nice gentleman, and we chatted about the outdoors and hunting, feeling in particular. Then we got more into detail about what people do. He asked me where I live, and I told him that I live in an apartment building right up to the street. He then asked me if I was from the area. I responded with, “Hell no! I hate cold weather! I’m originally from Florida but grew up in North Carolina and Maryland.” As most do when I respond that way to that particular question, he gave the following reply, “Then what brings you up here?” I said, “School.” We then discussed how the Edinboro University of Pennsylvania is one of two schools left in the country that provides personal care 24/7 in some capacity. I explained that I don’t use personal care services anymore because I live off-campus, but they help. 

Dan then asked me what I was going to school for. When I told him that I was getting my Master’s Degree, he started a familiar path. He said, “You are so great for what you’ve gone through” compliment. I know that this is not meant to be patronizing and that many non-disabled people could not imagine being in a disabled person’s shoes, but it gets frustrating after a while. For those who are not understanding, I am not downplaying what I’ve done or achieved. I am merely downplaying the role that my disability has played in it. To put it another way, people compliment persons with disabilities for everyday acts like they have done something extraordinary. That would be the same as me going up to a person and approving every time they tied their shoes properly, which some of my friends still have trouble with. 

The compliment is well-intended, but the able-bodied community does not realize that most disabled people do not see disabilities as a disability. They see it as a label that they must overcome. There are hundreds, perhaps even thousands of disabled people that can contribute to society. Fewer are given a chance. Those of us who are granted the equal great opportunity wanted to be that--an equal opportunity. Our accomplishments are made no more significant by the fact that we have a disability. People who may read this may disagree. They might say that I or persons in my situation have greater obstacles to work over everyday pieces. Is my argument, don’t we all? In this case, a basketball player friend of mine will call Lucy an outstanding basketball player. She has just received a contract to play overseas. Which I am very proud of her for. However, many pressure and no varieties put on this individual because she’s tall and overcame cancer. This individual, who is a great person, does not see her overcoming cancer as something special. She sees it as a blessing, and it has given her perspective and has it be her obstacle. It is no different than the single mom going to school with four kids who work for me as an attendant. She has barriers, as well. However, when you are disabled, they no longer become obstacles. They are significant hurdles. My ability to overcome them is no different than my friend Lucy’s or my friend, who works for me. Those of us who are given obstacles in life is given them because we are strong enough to overcome them, and we are meant to overcome them because we are told to test ourselves. Perhaps for something more significant and not to be praised as if we are better than everyone else. 

My point in closing is that everyone has obstacles, whether financially, physically, mentally, spiritually, or other types of hardships. I hope this blog does not sound arrogant or ungrateful because that is my not intention at all. It is merely to show that just because disabled people’s obstacles are sometimes visible, it does not make them any greater or less than anyone else’s obstacles. Blocks are put in place to make us who we are meant to be and not make us stand out as something extraordinary. If we do, that should be by our own doing and not by an obstacle put in front of us. We have no control over.