Patrice The Movie Makes Me Wonder If Marriage Equality Will Ever Exist for All People, Including Those with Disabilities. By: Jason Hahr

Above is an image of a logo from a movie titled Patrice: The Movie. It is yellow and in large print. 

Happy, fabulous Friday. Before I get into today’s post, I want to thank everyone for their support and amplification of my articles and the entire Voiceless Minority community recently. Your support and encouragement inspires me and all the other writers who have helped amplify the voice of the voiceless. Several years ago, I wrote a blog, which I will link at the end of this article. It is entitled I Can Write, But It Is Time for You to React. I am happy to report you have taken up that call to action in more ways than I could have imagined, and I am eternally grateful for your support.

Okay, enough with inflating your head as you are reading this. Now, down to the fun stuff. Last September, Patrice: The Movie premiered at the Toronto Film Festival. Shortly after, in October, it premiered on HULU. I will link an article written by Amy Kuperinsky for Disability Scoop that outlines the movie's plot in greater detail. However, I still recommend that you watch it for yourself. Recently, I watched it, and it inspired me to write this blog about the movie and other important tidbits that affect me personally.

The movie centers around a 60-year-old woman named Patrice who has Cerebral Palsy and her desire to marry her boyfriend and best friend Gary, who is 58 and also has Cerebral Palsy. Unfortunately, because of our ableist society, Patrice and Gary, who are funny as hell, soon realize that they are not legally allowed to get married without jeopardizing their medical benefits, which Gary points out that he must have to live.

If this movie had come out three years earlier, I would have only viewed it from an advocacy standpoint. However, in addition to God's sense of humor, it should be noted that he also has a good sense of timing. Anyone who knows me or follows this blog knows I have been in a relationship for almost three years. I never thought I would find anyone that could put up with my goofy ass. Still, luckily, I found a gimpy love bug named Samantha Lebron, who is either crazy or just as weird as I am, who has decided to put up with me for the foreseeable future. Thanks, babe. All jokes aside, I love you and love what we have together, and I could not imagine life without you.

Due to my relationship with my love bug, I am just as invested in the future of disability marriage equality as Gary and Patrice are. As they say during the movie, disability rights are human rights, but currently, I am not allowed to get married to my girlfriend without losing vital benefits. Now, don’t get me wrong, some disabled people have chosen to say, as Gary puts it, “fuck that shit” and do it anyway. To those couples, I commend you. It's not that I’m not as brave as you; I just don’t know if I could live without my aide care.

In the movie, Patrice and Gary, along with their friend Elizabeth, campaign for a piece of civil rights legislation that would eliminate the marriage penalty for people with disabilities. (This is a real piece of legislation; I can’t find the title.) By the movie's end, it is clear that Patrice and Gary will be together forever, but unfortunately, the act hasn’t passed yet. The movie came out in 2024. Does anybody who has seen the movie recall the name of the legislation they are campaigning for? If so, do you know whether that legislation is still in limbo?

As a final thought, I echo a question asked in the movie. How does it make sense to pay a benefit for two people who need care when they are not married but eliminate that benefit when they are? Their care needs don’t change just because they are in love. This thought process shows me that, as I have written in my last few blogs, we live in an ableist society. I don’t understand how, in 2025, we can have television programs like Love On the Spectrum or other shows depicting disability and love but pretend that disabled people aren’t people as soon as we turn off the television. Does anyone have a satisfactory answer to that question, because I haven’t found one yet.

I will leave it there for now. I eagerly await your comments and thoughts on this topic. Until next time, your perplexed, but still friendly neighborhood super advocate, Jay.

 

The following are links to the articles referenced in the above piece:

Disability Scoop Article: https://www.disabilityscoop.com/2024/10/01/couple-could-lose-everything-if-they-get-married-new-film-reveals-painful-journey/31092/

 

The Voiceless Minority Article From 2013: https://thevoicelssminority.blogspot.com/search?q=i+can+write+but+it+is+time+for+you+to+react

Patrice: The Movie Take Action to ensure equal marriage opportunity for all.

https://www.patricethemovie.com/take-action-1

Comments

  1. SammyMarch 7, 2025 at 11:44 PM

    Love your article and after some research I think I found the piece of legislation you’re looking for. Congressman Valdao has taken the helm trying to remove the penalty. https://valadao.house.gov/news/documentsingle.aspx?DocumentID=1782

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jason HahrMarch 7, 2025 at 11:48 PM

      Thanks for the support and the great information. I'm glad you were able to find it. I will share it on our social media pages. Jay.

      Delete

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