I don’t want the destiny you have planned for me: I’ll make my own. Thank You!

It's been a long time since I have written, but I recently watched a video that got me thinking. The video is linked below. I have shared it tons of times since I have watched it. In it, the speaker Stella Young brings up an idea of something called inspiration porn.

            She says that the lie that has been perpetrated is more social than physical. I could not agree with her more when I posted the following status "No, I am Not an inspiration for getting my Master's degree and having a disability. No, I am Not an inspiration for getting out of bed every day. Having a disability doesn't make me inspiration, just food for thought." I got a mix back of responses. Some did not understand my point for posting the status, my point being that the inspirational things that I have done should have nothing to do with my disability. My achievements should be based strictly on their merit. They should not have an asterisk by them simply because I have a disability. I haven't achieved much. I have done what you are supposed to do in life, but I get extra credit because I am disabled, and no one expected me to do it. In my experience, the only significant achievement that I have that is out of the ordinary is that I have just completed a book.

            The book, however, is not yet even an achievement because it is not published. I am working on getting it published, but I am not done yet. The fact that I got my Master's degree is not an achievement in my eyes because a master's degree in education is only as useful as the effort you put into it. I do not have a job, nor at this time do I have any prospects. What I do have is 3 degrees that I have not used. Determination to make society understand disability as not something different, not something negative, but rather just another obstacle. Along the way, I will encounter resistance, even from loved ones. Why is this?

            As I said, I have a master's degree in education. For that Master's degree, I was required to take classes on "educating children with special needs."  The language and lexicon taught in these courses indicate the overall problem: Society, with the rare exception, views disability as so unique and rare that they do not know how to handle it. They are preconceived notions of what disabled people can and cannot achieve, how their lives should or should not go. This is even true in the case of my parents. Without getting into too much of the debate we have had recently, I can say that parents often mean well but do more than good. Just because our bodies are "physically disabled or exceptional," as they call it in the education classes, doesn't mean our spirits are. It doesn't mean that we don't have normal drives and determinations. It doesn't mean we don't deserve to make our own decisions. If anything, just because we don't have a disabled spirit, people are confused.

            Common assumptions I hear regarding my physical disability aren't always limited to my mental facilities. Yes, people assume that just because I am physically disabled, I am mentally challenged, but they make other equally hurtful assumptions. For example, I have had many people that I know say that I am crazy for going sky-diving because of my disability. I might be fantastic for wanting to go sky diving, but my physical disability should have nothing to do with it. Why should my disability hold me back from doing anything if I find a way to do it? A more powerful assumption was that we never thought you would live on your own. We are so impressed by what you have done. Why is it impressive? Am I supposed to sit in the basement of Mommy and Daddy's house forever? I guess so. Just because I don't live on my own normally doesn't mean I am incapable of doing it. Yes, I have aides that come in and help, and there are glitches along the way, which most people don't have to face, but I make it work. I was even told by a close family member that they were surprised that I am living independently. They never thought it would happen. I should not be surprised by these comments, and in a way, I am not. I am amazed that it is 2014, and we still have such an archaic view of disabilities.

            I realize that there are differences between generations, and sadly we are only a product of our experiences. That being said, sometimes I feel that in my little corner of the world, even though I know many people with disabilities, I am the only one fighting against the role society has told us we should play. In my estimation, it seems as if other people with disabilities are ok being used as inspirational porn. They don't view their disabilities as a societal obstacle, and maybe that is the problem. We need to stop focusing on the physical disability model and focus on the social model of disability for a real change to occur. Will this ever happen? If I have anything to do about it, I am afraid that I cannot be the only voice in my fight. My circle of influence may be small for now, and I will do what I can to irritate and go against my societal role, but for those who know me, who also have disabilities, it is time for you to join the fight as well. Don't accept someone else's destiny before you make your own.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8K9Gg164Bsw