Lessons Learned: Self-Reliance

So I didn't write a lot in 2014 yet, but I promise that will change. This posting will be my 40^th blog. It is amazing what this blog has grown into a little over nine months.

            Nine months ago, I was angry and bitter and didn't know how to deal with it. They say life has a funny way of working out. I can't say that I would say that in nine months, I found my voice or at least the beginnings of it. As this blog says, I have learned a few things over the past little bit. I've written about comedy, I've written about political issues, and I've written about disability stereotypes; however, this blog will be a little different.

            Maybe it's because of how I was raised, but I have developed a fighter spirit that is both a good thing and a bad thing. As I sit down to write this post, in fact, I still remember the latest fight I had with my parents about being self-reliant. Without boring you with the gritty details, let's say we disagreed on how self-sufficient I should be at this point in my life.  My fight with my parents had nothing to do with a disability, at least on the surface; however, it got me thinking about a disability community problem.

            I've read a lot lately since graduating from my master's program in early December of 2013. I don't know whether it was intentional or not, but many titles have been related to making one's destiny. The last book I finished, I am Malala, was a highly publicized book about a girl shot by the Taliban in Pakistan to speak up for girls' educational rights. That book not only blended history and culture, but it struck me on a personal level. The circumstances Malala had to overcome put her in extreme danger every day. Regardless of that danger, she still stood up for what she wanted.  She knew no one else was going to give it to her unless she proves herself.

Similarly, A Bold Piece of Humanity, by Bill O'Reilly, discussed the controversial commentator's belief system and how he had come to reach those beliefs. While some of Mr. O’Reilly's political views may not sit well with some, the striking thing about this book was that like Malala; he did not rely on anyone to hand him success. No, he just took it.

            What does this all have to do with disability, one might ask? Well, it is simple. I've noticed lately, and I include myself in this generalization as well, that most people with disabilities let external forces control their lives. Often they feel trapped by circumstance, so we do not complain when our aide care is sub-par or something doesn't get done in a typical fashion because we are disabled. No, we accept it as our reality. Well, the above two books, along with something my father has been trying to tell me for forever, have finally sunk in.  Hard work isn't easy. I will use a parable from a well-known book for those of you who need it put simpler. Whether or not you believe it that Jesus of Nazareth is God as I do, the Bible does have one exciting thing that everyone can live by. Give a man a fish, feed him for a day, teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime. This is not a wealth criticism or even a social criticism; instead, in this case, it is a disability criticism.

            I am criticizing those like myself in the disability community who often let their circumstances define their lives.  Yes, our lives may be challenging, but our obstacles are no different than anyone else's. We are no other than a single mom of four that I know who busts her ass every day and sometimes goes without to help me and make her kid's lives better. We are also no different from a 49-year-old man who goes to work every day and doesn't smoke a day in his life but ends up getting cancer at 50. He still must get up, go to chemo, and move on with his life. We are no different from my Dad, who was perfectly healthy a year ago and is now fighting every day to keep his spirits up and keep moving towards his retirement dream. I know that was long-winded, but I do have a point.

            Disabled people think that because we rely on other people so much, whether we have a physical or mental disability, we are not in control of our lives. I'm here to tell you that our lives are what we make them, no one else.

If we do not have much physical control, then we can demand high expectations of those who do have biological control over our lives. Disability is not a limit, just a challenge. Quit letting it limit you and start challenging it. Your experiences will be better in the short term, and the world will be better in the long run. 

 

Aide Care System; The Hurtful Loop Holes

 
So the New Year is just fifteen days old, but already I can tell that this year will be different. That being said, I must write about a significant issue that has consumed my life for the past six or seven hours. Today I was informed by my personal care agency that one of my care workers could not work due to certain issues. On the surface, this seems like a non-issue, but it turned out to be quite a large one.

            For those that don't understand the aide care system, let me backtrack a little. I'm not aware of whether I have mentioned that I live by myself in previous blogs. I live in a small college town in the Northeast, which has a college that caters to physically disabled individuals; however, college services are only available if you live on campus. For the past three years, while completing my graduate work, I have chosen not to live on campus. Along with that choice comes several challenges that have nothing to do with academics.

            In the state I live in, there are three categories of options for those disabled people who do not wish to live with their parents. One can either live in a nursing home, a group home, or independently using what is known as an independent living waver.  Although I have chosen the third option, the independent living wavers, let me briefly outline the other two options before going into my choice.

            There are those outside the disabled community, and even those in the disabled community that has preconceived notions about what the nursing home or group home setting would be like. However, some of these perceptions are misinformed. There are nursing home and group home environments that are very restrictive. In the typical group home or nursing home environment, an individual pays rent with their disability check or through a family member, trustee, or guardian. The amount that the individual pays is used for various purposes, including housing costs, daily meals, and aide care costs. In most situations, residents are provided with three square meals a day cooked by the staff. They do not have to worry about their care needs, not being met because there is always staff available.

In some cases even, individuals are given a portion of their SSI or SSD check back to spend as they wish. Critics of this system suggest that the care quality is not always up to par. Often these facilities are either understaffed, poorly funded, or a combination of both. While the residents do not have to worry about their care needs being met, their care needs are often completed to the bare minimum, and extras such as specific grooming tasks may be neglected or done in a half-assed manner, if at all.

            The second option is a version of the group home/nursing home, which I like to call the group house. Personal care agencies often run these, and they are places where two or more individuals with disabilities or physical care need to share a residence. It is not like a group home in the traditional sense in that there are not 30 to 40 residents. Instead, these types of environments typically house three to eight individuals. Three to five attendants usually staff these facilities. These facilities provide the best of both worlds; in my opinion, however, they are limited in that they have not yet become the norm. Usually, people are forced to choose between a nursing home and the option I chose.

            I chose to live on my own using the independence waver. The waver in and of itself is a good idea, but it needs some serious retooling to be effective. There are two categories on the independence waver; one can either be a consumer who hires their aides, thus engaging in participant-directed care, or one can use what is known as agency model directed care. I know I have long explained the problem than usual, but I feel this is necessary to explain the problem I had earlier. I have tried both participant-directed care and what I thought was agency model directed care. I have found that in theory both of these systems are good and well designed but the practice is much different from theory.

            As a disabled man, I still cannot understand why a system designed in theory to help make me independent in practice takes every shortcut to limit my independence. Recently through no design of my own, care workers have either been told they can't work for me or have chosen not to show up for mandatory training activities. I had been with participant-directed care in the past, and I purposely switched over to the agency to avoid this issue. Still, today I get told that I am a consumer delegate, so it is not the agency's responsibility to find me coverage in the case where they terminate a worker of mine. Granted, they are doing their best to help me out, but I must say that I am angry at the system on principle at the writing of this article.

If a company declares itself a personal care agency and you go into a company with the impression that they will cover your gaps when necessary, it should be the agency's responsibility to fulfill that duty.    I understand that I came into the current agency that I'm with, with my aides from other companies. Still, I believe that once those aides were forced to undergo training with the current company that I'm with, that company should then assume responsibility for them. I will not throw the current company I am with under the bus anymore except to say that yes, they are within state laws to do what they are doing, but I think it is morally appalling that such arguments have to occur. 

The labels and terminologies used within the aide care industry are set up not to benefit the service consumer but provide as many loopholes as possible. The system designed to promote independence instead creates much more stress and puts unnecessary burdens on individuals in need of care. Rather than focusing on what they can contribute to the world, a large portion of the disabled population has to spend a great deal of their time contemplating whether or not they are going to have the necessary services. Throughout the whole system, in general, not just in my situation, individuals are not willing to take responsibility for their part in the process. Instead, they want to pass the bucket so often that the disabled person gets discouraged and stops making noise.

I'm well aware that this writing piece may ruffle feathers in the disabled community at all levels. However, it is time for a change. Disabled people should not have to be limited to three bad choices. The second choice for living independently needs to be more widely available: the group house setting that I spoke of earlier.  Secondly, parents and supporters of the disabled need to put aside their preconceived notions of wishing that disability personal care was perfect. Perhaps if such group setting such as nursing homes and group house settings were not stereotyped and vilified, both of these systems could be improved. Finally, the state systems need to be federalized when it comes to the independence waver. Usually, I am not a big supporter of the massive federal government; however, state agencies have no uniformity. A majority of agencies will find any loophole to put the burdens on the consumer and not themselves. I understand that the personal care industry is not the most desirable field, but if you were a company in charge of your employees, you could not let them control everything. I understand that the personal care aide is a vitally important person but giving them too much control creates gaps in care and loopholes that need to be closed. Overall, for a system that started as a good idea, the personal care system needs to be looked at too closely, no matter what type of care one is discussing. Unique care should be freeing, not limiting.